Male Massage: It's Not Really About the Massage

Anyone familiar with the massage world, or who has thought about it at all, realizes that women massage therapists are usually preferred over male massage therapists.  The reason for this may be said to be based on reality, since women are more generally known to be nurturers than men, and oftentimes people turn to massage for that kind of gentle care.  At the same time, women have also traditionally been respected as healers working with healing touch, and here again older attitudes persist.  While there are many male massage therapist today who are considerate, conscientious healers, it still generally tends to be easier for a female massage therapist to attract clients.  Some reasons are that many (some might say most) women feel safer and more comfortable with a woman, as the chance of being molested is perceived as being lower with a woman.  Men, too, usually prefer a woman to do their massage as there are pervasive attitudes in America as well as much of Europe and Asia about how men shouldn't really touch men, especially not when nearly naked and lying on a table. 

However, all this ceases to be true when you look at one certain kind of massage therapy.  This is what is known as "Male Massage".  Now, to those who do not know the specific meaning of this type of massage, this term wouldn't necessarily make one think too much.  However, do an internet search for these terms and the sites you see will be chock full of scantily clad and even completely butt-naked men showing off what is usually a buff body.  You'll also notice that these sites will be titled "Male Massage", but more often than not what follows is "Gay Massage."  Anyone who comes across such a site could be forgiven for thinking that "massage" in this case is less about therapeutic touch than paid gay sexual services.  I'm not sure why these all seem to be male to male massages either.  I didn't come across any ads directed at erotic massage for women by a man, all the "masseur" listings on these sites looked to be for male erotic massages.   

As a former licensed massage therapist, I am aware that one of the Rules of Ethics of the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) is to:
"Refrain from engaging in any sexual conduct or sexual activities involving their clients in the course of a massage therapy session." -AMTA
This is actually something you have to agree to to get licensed, and a point that was repeatedly drilled into our heads when we were in massage school.  Sex being a basic and powerful human impulse, AMTA and other massage regulatory boards feel they must emphasize that legitimate massages are to be completely non-sexual.  They do this so to distance massage therapy from its associations with prostitution and "massage parlors" where sexual services were offered under the euphemism of massage. 
I make this point to make sure the reader knows that these massage services are in violation of the Rules of Ethics applying to licensure, which means that these massage therapists offering services of a sexual nature could have their licenses stripped and could face legal action. 
I'm assuming that the so-called therapists on these sites (most of them seriously have semi-naked or naked pictures of themselves posted on directories) can get away with this because they don't explicitly SAY they will provide sexual services.  But many come damn close- statements like "Do you like it hard?", "Bodywork with or without relief".  Profiles of "masseurs" include descriptions like "I'm a very good looking, square-jawed & hung, top Italian..."  Unless you are very dense, there's no misunderstanding what is being offered in most of these profiles.  Also, these massages are offered as male to male massages, which have the ring of gay personal ads. 
No such directories of women offering sexual services come up if you search for "female massage".  This would be prohibited, which is why I find these "male massage" directories shocking.  Nor are there any directories of female therapists offering "lesbian massage", for instance. 

The point of this article is not to call for a war against these so-called male masseurs. The only real problem I have with this is that it seems to be male prostitution masquerading as "male massage". These are in violation of the ethics of the massage board, and while I don't mind that necessarily, I do think this kind of advertising makes it more likely that legitimate massage therapists will be bothered more by clients looking for sexual services. Many Licensed Massage Therapists (LMTs) already have to deal with clients that are looking for sexual services. Doing a search for "male massage" and finding what is essential a directory of men offering sexual services might confuse people who aren't aware of massage licensure and law. They will thus be more likely to go to a massage therapist offering purely therapeutic massage (without a sexual component) and seek out some sort of sexual release, which can result in anything from discomfort to sexual harrassment lawsuits.

As someone who is "straight", I feel it's perfectly fine if someone is/chooses to be gay. Also, although I can honestly say that I have never paid for sex and find the idea of doing so distasteful, I am not against prostitution wholesale. Exploitative prostitution is abominable and I am wholeheartedly against it. Unfortunately, that seems to be the type that is most common in our world. But I believe that sex can be a sacred act, and the fact that there used to be sacred sex workers in places like ancient Greece shows that prostitution doesn't HAVE to be about domination and animal lust, it can be for something higher too.

The positive that I see in "male massage" is that it leads us to question our values about sex.  In some countries, for instance Holland, prostitution is legal and managed.  As a result, they have fewer problems with sex workers getting STDs as proper safety precautions are taken to protect both worker and client.  A lot of money and manpower are saved, too, because law enforcement doesn't have to constantly make arrests of prostitutes and their clients, and courts too are more free to handle more serious cases.  But probably the best benefit of legalization is that there are much fewer problems with underage prostitutes, and human trafficking also declines. 

So there is evidence that legalizing prostitution can actually make a lot of changes for the better in a lot of ways.  You could certainly say that selling sexual services seems to be a lot less destructive than manufacturing bombs, for example.  I see in these "male massage" sites the potential for positive transformation. But unfortunately, they are making things harder for real massage therapists who want to help the client with (non-sexual) healing. 

We've seen the effects of denying our sexuality- just look at the recent molestation scandals in the Catholic Church. To me, it's clear that these members of the church tried to repress their natural sexual urges with devastating results.
People want to have sex, and if you can get past the fact that it's not always (or even usually) as cut and dry as as getting married and having sex with one member of the opposite sex for the rest of your life, we can perhaps start to look more honestly at the sexual aspect of being human.